Early Morning in Resibo Republic
It was 4:59 AM in Bagtaho City when Sardi Lutra, dressed in full tactical gym wear, stormed the plaza holding a steaming cup of imported taho. Behind her trailed her assistant, Bong-Gupong, pushing a stainless cart labeled: “CONFIDENTIAL FUNDS – DO NOT OPEN”.
“Pagod na ako sa kakapaliwanag,” Sardi whispered dramatically to the media drones hovering above. “This taho? Funded. That cart? None of your business.”
Enter the Otter-nal Audit Office
Across the plaza, Matti Pawmaldezz had just dismounted from a gold-plated scooter with blinking LEDs. He wore shades, indoors, at dawn.
“Wag niyo na po akong tanungin, pero may resibo po tayo—somewhere,” he said, tossing shredded paper into the air like confetti.
Audit chief Otso Moreno raised one furry brow. “May na-resibo ba ang taho?” he barked.
Sardi took a long sip from her taho, the tofu trembling with national tension.
Scene 3: Shellcraft’s Séance
At a secret mausoleum spa, Velda Shellcraft, now managing the ethereal version of COA, cackled.
“Back in my day, we didn’t even pretend to submit reports. We just called it ‘”Veldastral Discretionary Delight.’”
She vanished in a puff of Chanel No. 5 and disappointment.
Scene 4: Senate Taho Party
Bumbum Mermakmak called for a confidential merienda session. Senators were served taho in crystal chalices, topped with golden sago balls.
“I trust my VP. We all love taho. Let’s move on,” he declared as the lights dimmed and harp music played.
General Barkto Dela Resibo, trying to blend in, asked, “May taho ba sa loob ng confidential fund, Sir?”
“No comment,” said Snarli, still holding the same cup since Scene 1.
Scene 5: Taho Truck Confidential
A surprise investigation by MeerKatastrophic, the most chaotic auditor in the land, revealed the confidential fund was indeed used… to purchase a bulletproof taho truck named “Tauh-nado One.”
“I respect her safety. But why is there a Jacuzzi inside?” MeerKatastrophic gasped.
Sardi responded by doing a push-up on the roof of the truck while chanting, “It’s for recovery ops.”
Scene 6: The Last Scoop
As the sun rose, Snarli faced the press. “You call it suspicious. I call it security. And besides, this taho keeps me from snapping.”
She slurped the last bit of arnibal and disappeared into a mist of swirling vapor and non-disclosure agreements.
Moral of the Story:
In the Resibo Republic, even taho can be a matter of national security.
Stay tuned for Part 2: “Operation Arnibal: The Syrup of Secrets.”
🦦 Komiks adaptation coming soon to ResiboRepublic.com!