In the latest chapter of “Asphalt and Apostles,” Supreme Contractor-in-Chief BBM summoned the otter contractors of the Resibo Republic to explain why the kingdom’s roads, bridges, and schools look like someone rage-quit while building in Minecraft.
Leading the list of holy offenders was none other than St. Timitters Construction, famous for projects that always seem to stop halfway — as if divine intervention pressed the “pause” button.
The Roll Call of Excuses
Bumbum raised his royal paw and bellowed:
Bbm: “St. Timitters, bakit parang Lego ang highway ko?”
St. Timitters: “Sir, it’s not unfinished… it’s an open-world feature. Players must imagine the rest.”
Other otter contractors quickly chimed in with their sacred alibis:
- San Pedrotter Mixers, Inc. – “Boss, tubig po talaga ang forte namin. Semento is optional.”
- St. Nickotter Builders – “Matatapos po ‘yan… sa next Christmas, or the one after that, depende sa exchange rate.”
- Our Lady of Perpetually Pending Projects (OLPPP) – “Forever under construction po kami, gaya ng mga puso ng ex nyo.”
Marty Pawmaldezz Spins It Again
While citizens complained about potholes big enough to swallow a tricycle convoy, Marty Pawmaldezz leaned in with his signature spin:
“Boss, hindi naman yan substandard… it’s avant-garde otterchitecture.”
Bumbum nodded solemnly, as if Marty had just invented cement.
The New “Standard” in Resibo Republic 🪠☂
To protect the contractors (and the budget), Bumbum unveiled a new list of official infrastructure categories:
- Unfinished Bridges = “Scenic Tourist Stops with Free Cliff-Diving Options”
- Crooked School Buildings = “Earthquake-Ready Angled Learning Centers”
- Missing Walls = “Eco-Friendly, Open-Air Classrooms for Fresh Otter Breeze”
- Flooded Underpasses = “Future Venetian Boat Terminals”
The Closing .😡😎
Finally, Bumbum Mermakmak raised both paws and declared:
“These are not substandard projects… they are holy works-in-progress. If faith can move mountains, faith can also finish flyovers.”
The contractors clapped with devotion. Marty clapped for himself. The citizens clapped their foreheads in despair.