In most towns, a wedding is about two people falling in love and starting a new life together.
In Balayan, Batangas, it’s about starting the town’s unofficial annual beauty pageant.
The Red Carpet Starts at the Church Gate
Forget Hollywood. Balayan weddings have their own Oscars Night energy.
Guests walk into the church like they’re about to accept the award for Best Gown with Most Beads That Could Blind Someone in the Sunlight.
Aisle? More like runway.
Bride? Sure, she’s beautiful. But tita wearing her 2010 Milan-imported gown? Scene stealer.
Balikbayans in the Spotlight
Weddings are also the perfect time for our Balayan balikbayans from Italy to make a grand entrance.
They arrive in a convoy of shiny SUVs (na may ribbon, just in case you forget it’s a wedding) — wearing suits sharper than their mother’s comments about single guests.
And of course, may matching Italian leather shoes na tatanggalin agad pagdating sa reception, kasi masarap magtsinelas habang kumakain ng bulalo.
Reception: The Real Main Event
Balayan receptions are a full-contact sport.
First plate? For Instagram.
Second plate? For survival.
Third plate? For tomorrow’s breakfast.
And the giveaways? Oh, it’s a competition.
Some give wine bottles imported from Tuscany.
Others give coffee mugs… but with their faces printed on them.
When the Wedding Turns Into a Barangay Reunion
By the time the dancing starts, half the crowd is related to the couple, and the other half is trying to figure out if they are related to the couple.
Meanwhile, the balikbayan guests are comparing house renovation plans for when they come home next year — “Mine will have a balcony bigger than the living room.”
Moral of the Story:
In Balayan, a wedding isn’t just a wedding.
It’s a parade, a food marathon, a fashion show, and a balikbayan homecoming — all in one.
And yes, kahit hindi ka invited… alam mo na ang susunod na linya: Automatic ka na sa guest list.