Starring Sardina Lutra and the Mystery of the Disappearing Funds
In the mythical land of the Resibo Republic, there exists a rare and powerful relic known as the Confidential Fund—a magical scroll said to disappear faster than a politician’s promise after elections.
And in this tale, our heroine is none other than Sardina Lutra, Princess of Parallel Parking and Defender of DepEd… who somehow managed to make ₱125 million vanish in less time than it takes to finish a K-drama.
🎬 Previously on: The ₱125M Chronicles
It’s 2022. A fresh school year begins. Classrooms are crumbling, teachers are juggling chalk and side gigs, and students are still sharing chairs. But amidst the chaos, one thing stood strong—a DepEd confidential fund worth ₱150 million, swiftly downloaded from national coffers like a budgetary Spotify Premium.
And within 11 days, ₱125M of it was gone.
Vanished. Evaporated. POOF—like chalk dust in a typhoon.
🕵️♀️ What Happened?
According to Sardi’s camp: “It was for surveillance, national security, and confidential operations.”
According to basic logic: “What kind of surveillance costs ₱11.3 million a day?”
The Commission on Audit (COA) tried asking questions, but confidential funds operate under ancient ninja rules: “Thou shall not disclose. Thou shall not liquidate.”
The DepEd reportedly spent it on:
- Confidential expenses (vague)
- Surveillance (still vague)
- “National security” (vaguer)
- Something-something intelligence (absolutely vague)
That’s it. No receipts, no PowerPoint, just vibes.
🧾 Public Reaction:
The people of Resibo Republic did what they do best—file memes, not complaints.
- “Sardi’s Taho Surveillance Task Force?”
- “Operation Notebook Espionage?”
- “Undercover ops in Grade 3?”
👑 But Wait—It’s a Sequel?
Oh yes. This is not the first installment of the Vanishing Fund franchise. In fact, this budgetary cinematic universe includes:
- The ₱650M DepEd Confidential Fund
- The Bicam Insertions Saga
- The 2024 Blank Budget Awards
- And the critically acclaimed: Shellcraft’s Vault of Vengeance
And now, our leading lady is back—armed with more line items, zero liquidation, and a fresh blowout.
Next up in Part 2:
➡️ “Day 1: The Fund Awakens” – An hour-by-hour satirical reconstruction of the first 24 hours the funds were downloaded.