Divisoria has seen it all — bargain hunters, traffic jams, and fishball wars — but nothing prepared it for this: Sara Duterte and Isko Moreno going head-to-head in the ultimate palengke face-off.
📍 Location: Divisoria, Manila
Starring:
- Sara Duterte – “The Davao Dragon”
- Isko Moreno – “Yorme ng Masa”
- Special guest referee: Mayor Honey Lacuna (armed with a whistle and a price scanner)
🧺 Scene 1: The Bangketa Budget Blitz
Sara arrives in a bulletproof SUV, flanked by security and fake receipts. She’s on a mission to expose overpriced potholes and ghost vendors allegedly linked to the ₱241 billion budget insertions.
Meanwhile, Isko glides in on a kuliglig, armed with receipts, megaphone, and charisma. He claims he’s just here for some ukay-ukay, but insiders say he’s shopping for evidence.
💬 “Ang resibo ko hindi galing sa printer, galing sa Divisoria mismo,” Isko shouts, lifting a laminated photo of a mysterious ‘Project: Sidewalk Widening’ that looks suspiciously like a fishball cart.
💥 Scene 2: Budget Brawl at Stall #241
Tensions explode when both camps try to inspect Stall #241 — rumored to be the secret headquarters of the “Insertions Syndicate.” Sara throws shade:
“Walang forever, lalo na sa budget na walang detalye.”
Isko counters with a mic drop:
“May forever sa Divisoria—lalo na kung may resibo!”
Security intervenes. Honey Lacuna tries to mediate using a QR code scanner and a discount coupon.
🔍 Scene 3: Resibo Reveal
Out of nowhere, BBM appears via hologram from Malacañang:
“Peace, love, and plastic ban. Let’s all move forward.”
But it’s too late. Sara pulls out a Manila envelope marked “EXHIBIT A: BUDGET INSERTIONS 2026” while Isko flips a table and reveals an entire timeline of ghost projects.
Cue dramatic music. Mayor Honey faints. Vendors cheer. TikTok explodes.
🧾 The Verdict: Who Won the Showdown?
- Sara Duterte left with louder soundbites.
- Isko Moreno left with a flash drive full of suspicious PDF files.
- Divisoria won the day — because they now sell resibo merch and the story trended for 48 hours straight.
📌 Final Thought
In a country where the budget has more mystery than a teleserye, the real winner is anyone with receipts. And in Divisoria, everyone’s got one.
Stay tuned for Part 2: When BBM Meets the Escalator in Cebu.
Only here on ResiboRepublic.com — where satire meets scandal.