By the Resibo Republic Bureau of Educational Invisibility (RRBEI)
🎒 LESSON 1: INTRODUCING “OPLAN MAHIMIK”
In the year when students needed chairs, teachers needed chalk, and classrooms needed roofs, the Department of Enchantment and Pseud-ucation (DepEnchanted) chose to fund something far more urgent:
A ₱650,000,000 Confidential Fund for “school-related national security activities.”
No receipts. No explanation. No final exam. Just… pass with flying colors and invisible ink.
🧂 LESSON 2: WHAT ₱650M MIGHT BUY (ALLEGEDLY)
Let’s imagine what kind of “confidential” educational expenses might cost taxpayers a mere ₱650 million:
| Item | Unit Cost | Quantity | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Titanium-grade pencil sharpeners | ₱120,000 | 5 | Sharpen resistance, not just pencils. |
| Bulletproof class registers | ₱250,000 | 20 | Protects attendance from dissent. |
| Tactical whiteboard erasers | ₱95,000 | 100 | For erasing accountability. |
| Emotional Support Tahos™ | ₱5,000/cup | 10,000 | Distributed during budget hearings. |
At least one item was marked “For Official Feelings Only.”
🦦 LESSON 3: SNARLI LUTRA EXPLAINS
When asked where the ₱650M went, Snarli Lutra confidently replied (via podcast from an undisclosed floating spa):
“The children must be protected from invisible threats… like transparency.”
She continued:
“And besides, confidentiality is part of the new K-to-KWENTA curriculum.”
The press asked if any audit report exists.
She paused, then whispered:
“The real audit is the friends we made along the way.”
🔒 LESSON 4: THE SCHOOL OF SECRETS
Sources say DepEnchanted recently launched new educational initiatives funded by the confidential pot:
- Project SHHH! – Teachers trained in advanced deflection and PowerPoint delay tactics
- Operation Notebookless – Replace notebooks with “mental journaling”
- Unity Room Renovation – ₱300M allocated to a meditation room with imported silence
An unnamed school principal allegedly received a DepEd memo stating:
“Please stop asking. Just believe.”
📚 LESSON 5: STUDENTS SPEAK OUT
Across the Resibo Republic, students were asked what the ₱650M meant to them:
“We had one electric fan for 8 sections. I guess it went to protecting the air?” – Jomar, Grade 8
“Wala pong modules minsan, pero may memo kami about ‘confidential compliance.’” – Mica, Senior High
“Sana confidential na rin yung utang sa tindahan.” – Anonymous, behind the gym
📌 EPILOGUE: WHAT THE HISTORY BOOKS WON’T SAY
Future textbooks might describe this era with lines like:
“In 2024, the Department of Education embraced silence. A quiet so expensive, only ₱650M could afford it.”
And in footnote 17:
“It is unclear what was taught. But something was definitely learned.”
COMING NEXT:
- “Unity Kindergarten: Coloring Inside the Budget Lines”
- “Snarli’s Confidential Coloring Book” – Crayons not included
- “The National High School for Strategic Hoarding” – Entrance exam: say nothing, circle everything
🧾 ResiboRepublic.com
For when facts are fuzzy, but the sarcasm is sharp.
#650MConfidential #SnarliSaga #InvisibleEducation #DepEnchanted #BudgetWithoutBorders #MahimikPeroMayMilyones