Published by: ResiboRepublic.com
In one corner:
Vice President Sardi Lutra, master of confidential funds—swift, silent, and gone in a blink.
In the other corner:
Bumbum Mermakmak, the vlogging President whose most powerful diplomatic tool is… a selfie stick and a light ring.
The ₱650-Million Mystery
On Day 1, Vice President Sardina confidently declared:
“Confidential funds are vital to national security. That’s all. No questions, please.”
On Day 3, the Commission on Audit whispered:
“Uhm… this was spent in just 11 days?”
On Day 5, reporters asked, “Ma’am, saan napunta ang pondo?”
She responded by pointing to a large tarp that read:
“Sa Katahimikan at Kaayusan.”
No receipts. Just vibes.
Meanwhile in BBMVlogs™
While Sardina vanished millions, Bumbum was busy shooting a 12-minute vlog titled:
“Unity Walk in Tokyo: Naka-red Kami Ni First Lady!”
Viewers were treated to:
- A wide shot of BBM looking confused in Shibuya Crossing
- A three-minute montage of Japanese sushi he couldn’t pronounce
- And a heartfelt caption:
“Building bridges of peace, one sushi at a time.”
The Real Diplomacy Divide
Sardina’s tools of leadership:
- Confidential funds
- Silence
- Tactical e-scooters
BBM’s tools of leadership:
- Canva transitions
- Royal blue barong
- Slow-mo walking beside Lutsina
One hides receipts. The other edits transitions.
Public Reactions
- Netizens to Sardina:
“Ma’am, do you think we’re not confidential enough to see where our money went?”
- Netizens to BBM:
“At least he’s spending on content. Kahit walang laman, may kulay.”
- Netizens to COA:
“Audit pa more, baka may resibo sa loob ng vlog ni BBM.”
Final Verdict:
In the Resibo Republic, leadership now has two paths:
- The BBM Style: Vlog it, style it, but never explain it.
Both are expensive.
Both are mysterious.
And both might just earn a standing ovation at the next Budget Awards Night.
ResiboRepublic.com
Serving receipts. Satirically.