Starring: Lutsina Seasnatch 🐆, Sardina Lutra 🐍, Bumbum Mermakmak 🧸, Marty Pawmaldezz 🐾
Location: Malacottage Game Show Studio (formerly the Briefing Room)
Category: Komiks | Satirical News
By: Team Otterminders
Date: July 18, 2025
When unity isn’t enough, it’s time to play… dirty.
Tensions have been rising in the plush halls of Malacottage. The First Lady and the Vice Taho Queen have been tossing press statements and passive-aggressive social media likes like they’re policy tools.
So, in the spirit of transparency and televised chaos, the Palace launched a special program:
🎮 “The Resibo Games: Lutsina vs. Sardina Edition”
Hosted by the ever-panicked Marty Pawmaldezz, sponsored by Insertions Anonymous™.
Set Design: Bombastic & Budgeted
The studio was a hybrid of a Senate hearing room and a noontime variety show.
- Center stage: A giant buzzers-and-receipts podium.
- Each contestant had a Resibo Button™—when slapped, it launched a random scandal from a hidden vault.
- The crowd: Paid interns, loyal vloggers, and a confused Bumbum Mermakmak eating corn.
Round 1: Lutsina Draws First Blood
Marty (sweating):
“Contestants, press your resibo to reveal your opponent’s… questionable past!”
Lutsina, elegant and stone-faced, smacked the red buzzer.
💥 Out came a hologram showing Snarli in a custom armored taho truck, delivering “nutritional outreach” worth ₱8 million per unit.
Lutsina (icily):
“Nutritional, yes. But do we really need bulletproof tapioca?”
Sardina (smirking):
“Safety first. Also… that was private sector funded-ish.”
Round 2: Snarli Strikes Back
Sardina hit her buzzer like it owed her a signature.
📜 Whoosh!
A folder emerged, labeled: “Special Office for Spousal Enlightenment – Confidential.”
Sardina:
“Tell us more about your ₱200M Unity Center for… vibes?”
Lutsina:
“It’s a spiritual infrastructure. Unlike your ghost projects, mine meditate.”
Marty tried to intervene with a joke, but got hit in the face with a flying resibo.
Round 3: Surprise Resibo from Bumbum
Suddenly, Bumbum—still munching—accidentally leaned on the emergency buzzer.
📂 CLANK!
A massive binder titled “2023 Presidential Schedule – Entirely Blank” fell to the floor.
Marty: “Uhh—cut to commercial?”
Lutsina: silent blinking
Sardina: silent cackling
Bumbum: “I told you, I planted rice.”
Final Round: Unity Is Overrated
The final round was a lightning-speed resibo throwdown:
- Lutsina: “You used a military chopper to deliver taho!”
- Sardina: “You used a DSWD budget to renovate your bathroom!”
- Lutsina: “You plagiarized your national address!”
- Sardina: “You ghost-wrote your husband’s press releases using ChatGPT!”
The scoreboard exploded.
Marty fainted behind the podium.
The interns clapped on instinct.
Bumbum quietly asked for another banana cue.
🎬 End Scene: Truce or Timebomb?
With no clear winner, Lutsina and Snarli were asked if they’d consider uniting.
Lutsina: “Only if she changes her tone.”
Sardina: “Only if she changes her entire vibe.”
Bumbum: “Can we go home now?”
They did not shake hands.
Instead, they each left with a USB full of unreleased receipts.
The nation held its breath.
🧾 Resibo Notes:
- Marty is now under therapy and using cue cards for casual conversation.
- Sadina’s taho truck fleet is now under congressional review.
- Lutsina’s Unity Center remains unfinished—allegedly due to “emotional weather.”
Filed under: #UnityWars #ResiboRoyale #SeashellsVsTaho
📆 July 18, 2025
🖋️ By Team Otterminders