Published under: Satirical News | ResiboRepublic.com
It was a crisp Tokyo morning in Ginza — land of luxury boutiques, overpriced matcha, and fashion that screams “Old Money Meets Soft Power.” But today, Ginza had VIP visitors. Not heads of state in formal delegation, but BBM, Sara Duterte, and First Lady Liza Araneta-Marcos — on a mission that had nothing to do with geopolitics, and everything to do with Gucci, Goyard, and good old gossip.
👠 Scene 1: Liza’s Presidential Power Walk
First to step out of the van: Liza Marcos, armed with a platinum credit card and a vision. Clad in a crisp white blazer and oversized designer sunglasses, she marched straight to Matsuya Ginza, where the Chanel staff instinctively locked eyes and whispered, “She’s back.”
“Five percent lang ang inflation sa Pilipinas,” she said, grabbing three handbags at once. “That’s why may budget tayong bumili ng tatlong kulay ng parehong bag. Eh kasi… neutral palette is policy consistency, di ba?”
🛍️ Scene 2: Sara Duterte vs. Tokyo Fashion
Trailing behind was Sara Duterte, looking like she just came from a boots-on-the-ground military inspection.
Cargo pants? Check. Combat boots? Of course. Suspicion of luxury fashion? Confirmed.
“Ano ba ‘tong mga bag na ‘to, Ma’am Liza? Hindi ba’t mas matibay ang Don Quijote eco bag?” she mumbled, eyeing the ¥400,000 price tag with the same face she makes when hearing about confidential funds in Senate hearings.
She did, however, buy a rice cooker. Not for herself — for the campaign war room back home. “Tactical advantage,” she said.
☕ Scene 3: BBM in the Background (As Usual)
Meanwhile, BBM was pretending to be fascinated by a vending machine.
“Sara, tingnan mo ‘to… may ramen sa can,” he said excitedly, clearly hoping to distract from Liza’s fifth shopping bag. He bought two — one for himself, and one as a pasalubong for Martin Romualdez.
When asked if he was buying anything luxury today, BBM replied:
“Hindi ako masyadong mahilig sa material things… unless may kasamang Marcos-era design, syempre.”
💬 Scene 4: The Real Drama Begins
In the Louis Vuitton store, Liza whispered to Sara:
“You know, Sara, kung gusto mo talaga ng support sa 2028, you need to elevate your look. Parang may resistance ang voters sa Cordura fabric…”
Sara glared.
“Ma’am Liza, ang Cordura hindi basta-basta. Pang-warfare yan. Parang ako.”
🎤 Bonus: Unexpected Cameo
Just as they were about to leave, a Filipino vlogger spotted them.
“Ma’am Sara, Ma’am Liza! Anong bilin niyo sa mga OFWs dito sa Japan?”
Liza flashed a beauty queen wave.
“Support the local economy — especially the Japanese one.”
Sara raised her Don Quijote bag.
“Save your money. Buy in bulk.”
BBM popped open a ramen can.
“Ako, I just want peace and prosperity… and beef flavor.”
🧾 Resibo Recap
Total Damage:
- Liza: ¥3.2 million in handbags
- Sara: ¥14,000 rice cooker + ¥1,200 vending machine snacks
- BBM: 2 canned ramen + 1 awkward selfie with a tax-free sign
🗞️ Coming Soon on ResiboRepublic.com:
- “Resibo Games: Who Spent It Best?”
- “Martin in Milan: The Insertions Shopping List”
- “Behind the Budget: Imelda’s Closet vs. the NDRRMC”