Scene 1: Day 1 – “TahOlympics Opening Ceremony”
Sardina Lutra kicked off her 11-day spending spree with a sunrise kettlebell ceremony, funded by ₱5M worth of tactical taho catered by Tofu of Duty. She announced, “This isn’t indulgence—it’s insurgency prevention, through protein.”
A marching band of elite otter cadets performed a synchronized taho-toss salute. The national silence was deafening.
Scene 2: Day 2 – “Luxury Lugaw & Surveillance”
Sardi launched Project Eyesnack, a 24/7 taho surveillance program. For ₱11.7M, drones disguised as sago balls hovered over public schools to check for anti-taho sentiments.
“Every lugaw cart could be a threat,” warned Bong-Gupong, while sipping from his ₱800,000 limited-edition taho flask.
Scene 3: Day 3 – “The Tactical Spa Day”
₱9.3M was charged for a “confidential wellness operation” at a Baguio spa, with heated taho baths and soy-based facials for the entire VP Security Squad.
Sardi justified the expense: “Mental health is national security. Especially when you’re surrounded by enemies—and carbs.”
Scene 4: Day 4 – “Operation Soycial Media”
₱14.8M went to influencer intel recruitment via the secret project codename: #TahoTahoLangTayo. The campaign paid TikTokers to say “Sardi Strong!” while eating taho blindfolded.
An anonymous influencer (later identified as Chabibo Swagpaw) was seen performing a taho dance in front of COA HQ.
Scene 5: Day 5 to 7 – “The Great Taho Wall”
₱28M was spent constructing a portable taho-proof fence to “protect the VP’s core” from journalists, auditors, and truth.
Matti Pawmaldezz defended the wall: “It’s not a wall—it’s a barrier against negativity. And accountability.”
Scene 6: Day 8 – “The ‘Secret’ Charity Gala”
At a ₱15M confidential gala called Taho for Peace, guests arrived in armored pedicabs and left with “Freedom Soy” gift baskets. Velda Shellcraft’s hologram made a surprise appearance, whispering:
“Confidentiality is fashion.”
Scene 7: Day 9 to 10 – “Tahoville Evacuation Drill”
Sardi ordered a ₱20M simulation of her escape from a fictional coup. A decoy taho cart, drone extraction, and soy-smoke grenades were deployed.
MeerKatastrophic, hiding in a taho tub nearby, wrote in her report:
“Why is she fleeing from her own shadow?”
Scene 8: Day 11 – “The Grand Finale”
₱21M was splashed on “TahoCon 2025”, an invite-only debrief disguised as a cosplay convention. Sardina appeared as Captain Soyvenger, wielding a golden sago whip.
“Every peso has a purpose,” she declared, “and that purpose is classified.”
BREAKING: Audit Office response
Otso Moreno latest press release stated:
“No receipts, only taho. This isn’t governance—it’s gourmet gaslighting.”
Moral of the Story:
When you spend ₱125M in 11 days, you don’t need answers. You just need thicker syrup.
🦦 Coming Soon:
- Part 3: “Syrupgate” – Where Did the Arnibal Go?
- Komiks version of Snarli’s Soytastic Sprint