PART 2 Day 1: The Fund Awakens
Starring Sardi Lutra as herself and ₱125M as the doomed sidekick
🗓️ Day 1 – The Download
Location: A secure DepEd portal, password: confidentialPaMore123
Time: 8:00 AM
Sardi sips taho while signing off on a ₱150M confidential fund request. It’s approved in record time—faster than students get their modules.
Sardi: “Education is security. Surveillance is love. Insert now, explain never.”
Time: 9:07 AM
₱125M quietly enters the DepEd ledger. There are no fireworks. Only the soft hum of a photocopier printing non-itemized spending plans.
🕵️♀️ Time: 10:42 AM – First Swipe
₱5 million disappears. Allegedly for “rapid response coordination equipment.” Translation?
Nobody knows. Not even the guy who filed the request.
COA intern note: “No receipts. Just handshakes.”
🛒 Time: 12:15 PM – Lunch with Logistics
₱8.3M goes poof during a mysterious “coordination lunch.”
Menu:
- Intelligence fries
- Deep-fried transparency
- Soft drinks labeled “For Official Use Only”
🪩 Time: 3:00 PM – The Surveillance Shuffle
₱13.2M marked as “strategic monitoring tech.”
Rumor says it was used to buy:
- 6 drones (only 2 work)
- 14 burner phones
- 1 karaoke machine (surveillance-enhanced?)
Meanwhile, one staffer was reportedly assigned to spy on a Grade 4 math contest in Cavite. Why? National interest.
🧥 Time: 6:00 PM – Confidential Couture
₱3.1M labeled as “tactical clothing.”
Result: A set of windbreakers with embroidered titles like “Task Force EduWatch.”
Bonus: Matching socks with QR codes that link to blank spreadsheets.
💸 Running Total Spent (Day 1): ₱35.6M
That’s ₱1.48M per hour.
Or roughly ₱410 per second—enough to fund 3 barangay classrooms every 5 seconds.
But who’s counting?
🧾 What the Citizens Said:
🦦 “May ganun pala sa DepEd? Di ko alam kung dapat matuwa ako o mag-alala.”
📚 “Mukhang mas may budget pa surveillance nila kaysa sa Math books namin.”
📢 “Sardi, can you surveil our broken CR too?”
🔮 Teaser for Part 3:
➡️ “Day 2–4: Operation Vanish Continues” – Disbursement spikes, the fog machine returns, and a “confidential coordination trip” to Boracay enters the chat.